Everybody loves a good dump. This blog is dedicated to commemorating and celebrating the poops that made your (or someone else's) day a little more memorable.

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The Best Of storiesaboutpooping

We need to have a talk.

I’ve been mulling it over for the past few weeks now, and clearly I haven’t been too attentive to you all for the last few months. And I’m sorry for that, but after a year of every single person’s story about their shit, or the fucked up things happening during someone’s period, I just can’t do it anymore guys. It’s just so taxing to sift through all these asks, especially when 60% of the time they were the same submission just reworded. 

Now, we’ve had our good times, and also had quite a few regulars here submitting their stories, which I loved like you couldn’t believe. A handful of you were such great writers that I was laughing my ass off. It was nice to be a part of this while it was good, but it doesn’t seem like it’s that way anymore.

Almost all the submissions are the same, and they just annoy me to see now. I was talking to Dana today, and realized the only shits I want to know about are mine, and my friends if they’re pretty awesome. And I’m really fucking sick and tired of all the shit-fetish blogs that were flooding the inbox, either wanting to get to know the girls who would post, or wanting to submit their graphic sexual shit stories. Especially after I said multiple times that I want nothing to do with that. I think you all can understand why that would get on my nerves and cause me to grow tired of this.

So, what I’m going to do is this. I’m not deleting the blog or anything, but I am going to turn off the ask box, and turn off submissions. Should I decide to come back, so be it, but don’t count on it either. Man of conviction, blah blah blah.

Anyways though, if you should need some advice on something digestive or otherwise related, I’m right here willing to give a shot. But if it’s something serious, medical wise, just fucking go to a doctor. They’ll do so much better than I.

Take care,

Anonymous said: Please help, I don't understand why it takes people so long to poop... It usually takes me about a minute and a half to poop. Why do people stay in the bathroom for 10 minutes or more? How many turds are they producing? Is something wrong with me?

I don’t have good poops very often. They’re usually broken up into multiple small shits a day; hard enough to pass, but not large enough to be any fun. So yesterday while at Target, I was very pleasantly surprised by my bowels. The urge to poop just fell on me and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold it long, so I made a beeline for the ladies’ room and plopped down as fast as I could, fearing the worst. The turd was firm and came out as one log, but wasn’t so hard that it hurt to actually poop it. It took a good 30-40 seconds to squelch the whole thing out, and I could feel my cheeks blushing when I saw what I had left behind! It was definitely one of those “so good, it sticks with you all day” poops :)

Ahhh Valentine’s Day. So romantic, love is in the air chocolate everywhere. And I’m stuck on the toilet with rancid period shits.

Anonymous said: essay writing and coffee/redbull drinking and salsa eating anon here; I am regretting everything I have eaten and drank in the last 24 hours as it is now exiting my body from both ends as liquid fire. I send this from the bathroom inbetween puking and shitting out my internal organs. My uni house bathroom is completely off limits as I cannot move. My butthole is aflame and all hopes of completing my essay tonight are gone. What did I do to deserve this?

Anonymous said: Fruit tea (pretty much sweet tea with pineapple juice and a bit of orange) has become the reckoning of my bowels. Jesus, I don't remember the last time I had shits this large in girth or length.

Anonymous said: I don't poop as often as most people, so explosive diarrhea a day after a glorious shit is really not funny

Anonymous said: I hate when I think I need to take a shit so I go sit on the pot and all that comes out is a huge fart like dammit I was prepared for an epic shit

Anonymous said: Why the hell do I always have to poop right as Teen Wolf comes on?

Anonymous said: I'm a vet tech and tonight I had a patient who hadn't pooped in four days who we had to sedate and manually deobstipate (which is exactly as much fun as it sounds like). The whole time all I could think was 'You know, I haven't pooped in four days either but you don't see me making this much fuss'.